APRÈS CLUBHOUSE CAFÉ MENU

For Members. Or those who look like they belong.
(Available daily from 11:11 AM until the last Chablis is poured.)

A note from the kitchen: Our Clubhouse chef, Lucien Marceau, has just returned from six weeks in the French Riviera. He was last seen sipping pastis in a linen shirt on the shores of Cap d’Antibes. Inspired by the sensual ease of Mediterranean coastal fare, he's crafted a menu designed to delight, flirt, and linger. Expect flirtations with citrus, indulgent simplicity, and a side of scandal. Bienvenue.

CLUBHOUSE COFFEE MENU
For journaling, plotting, or just appearing mysteriously important.

Signature Hot
The Signature Sip
Custom Après roast with collagen, cinnamon, and your secret milk of choice – $7

The Power Serve
Double espresso, no eye contact. Comes with a side of unresolved ambition – $5

The Doubles Court
Half coffee, half chicory, all main character energy – $6

The Morning After
Espresso, dark chocolate, cayenne, and oat milk. Spicy. Regret-proof. – $7

Iced & Ironic
Iced Chablis (Decaf)
Just kidding. It’s cold brew in a wine glass. But you believed it, didn’t you? – $8

The Ex-Factor
Iced latte with lavender and a ghost of vanilla. Hauntingly good. – $7

Emotional Support Cold Foam
Cold brew topped with vanilla bean foam and false hope – $8

Add-ons
Extra shot – $1.50
Emotional clarity – not available at this time
Signature ceramic Club mug – $24 to keep

SIGNATURE DRINKS
The Golden Retriever
Oat milk latte, honey drizzle, vanilla bean — loyal, warm, and a little bit whipped. – $8

The Sparkling Regret
Sparkling Chablis spritz with lemon peel and a dash of “you up?” – $16

Matcha Point
Ceremonial-grade matcha with steamed pistachio milk, topped with edible gold leaf (because why not). – $9

The Ball Girl Detox
Cucumber, mint, chlorophyll, and coconut water. Best consumed while avoiding eye contact. – $7

THE DRINKS LIST: WINE, BUBBLES, COCKTAILS
No orange wine. We have standards.

The Court-Side Cellar (Small but snobby)
Chablis, Domaine Servin 2021 – $18 glass / $75 bottle
Clean, bright, pairs well with passive aggression.

Rosé, Whispering Angel 2023 – $15 glass / $60 bottle
Classic. Predictable. Perfect for doubles.

Champagne, Ruinart Blanc de Blancs – $28 glass / $120 bottle
The drink of “I made it through another lesson.”

Pinot Noir, Scribe 2022 – $17 glass / $70 bottle
Complex, flirty, may or may not text back.

Super Tuscan, Ornellaia 2019 – $45 glass / $210 bottle
For when you bring your European lover to the club.

The Clubhouse Cocktails
The Serve & Sip Martini – see menu
Baseline Negroni – Classic but bitter. You know the type. – $16
The Gold Digger Spritz – Aperol, prosecco, edible 24k flake – $19
Love All Mule – Vodka, ginger, lime, served with mutual respect – $15

THE APERITIVO HOUR (Starts Promptly at 4:00PM)
Serve & Sip Martini
Ice-cold, dirty, and dramatically stirred. Served with a wink and a twist. – $18

The French Exit
Kir Royale with crushed rose petals. No goodbyes, just vibes. – $19

Clubhouse Caviar Bump & Bubbles
One bump of caviar + one glass of sparkling. A rite of passage. – $39

LUNCH MENU

Appetizers Second Serve Fries
Shoestring, herbed, and never regrettable. Comes with aioli and emotional support. – $11

Bikini Panini
A nod to the Riviera: jamon, gruyère, and truffle aioli, pressed to golden perfection. – $19

Avocado Provencal
Citrus-marinated avocado with sea salt, shaved radish, and olive oil on club toast. – $16

Salads
The Match Point Salad
Strawberries, burrata, basil, aged balsamic. Served with your ex's guilt on the side. – $18

The Doubles Club Cobb
Chicken, soft egg, avocado, Roquefort, crispy shallots. Best shared with someone you trust. – $24

Sunset Niçoise
Tuna confit, haricots verts, cherry tomatoes, soft potato, anchovy, French dressing. Very south of France. – $27

Mains Tennis Elbow Sandwich
Delicate egg salad, wild arugula, crème fraîche on brioche. Best enjoyed post-lesson, pre-gossip. – $21

The Courting Chicken Milanese
Crispy herb-crusted chicken with lemon arugula salad and shaved parmesan. Elegant and reliable. – $29

Shrimp Riviera Roll
Chilled shrimp, lemon mayo, tarragon, brioche. Inspired by the yacht you haven’t been invited on yet. – $28

DINNER MENU

The Lobster Divorce Roll
Warm butter-poached Atlantic lobster on toasted brioche with lemon aioli and shredded prenup. Served with sea salt chips and the taste of freedom. – $34

Grand Slam Lobster Bisque
Velvety, indulgent, emotionally unavailable. Topped with chive crème and micro-regret. – $22

Caviar & Laybacks
Regal spoonfuls of Osetra caviar served with crème fraîche, chive blinis, and a side of unspoken tension. – $88

Seared Sea Bass à la Club
With fennel, preserved lemon, and olive oil drizzle. Elegant. Aloof. Perfect. – $41

Filet de Boeuf "Après Style"
Pan-seared filet, truffle potato purée, red wine shallot glaze. For nights when tennis wasn’t enough. – $48

SWEET POINTS
The Love-Love Cake
Mini almond cake with lemon glaze and edible tennis court lines. Good for two. Or just one. – $12

Off-Season Affogato
Vanilla gelato, espresso pour, and a tiny secret you won’t tell anyone. – $10

Please note: Dress code enforced, compliments limited to one per visit, and emotional overreactions must be accompanied by a beverage order.
All menu items subject to availability, seasonal whimsy, and personal growth.